It’s quite possible that you don’t spend a lot of time pondering magazine promotions, and I must say that I share that failing. However, I’ll wager that when you do take some time out of your busy day to give the subject a good think, your mind is mostly turned towards things that might actually influence your decision to buy a magazine. For instance, The New Yorker at one time gave chic, erudite anthologies of its cartoons to subscribers, while Maxim continues to cater to all our enter-to-win-a-once-in-a-lifetime-chance-for-a-Budweiser-Beach-Party-with-Jenna-Jameson needs.
And what is Switzerland’s answer to these gleaming golden treasures dangled before our adoring eyes? Well. A couple of months into Deborah’s subscription to Die Weltwoche, a sort of higher-brow Swiss Newsweek, a package arrived for her in the mail along with the latest issue. “Gott sei Dank! It has come!” shouted a jubilant Deborah, tearing the wrapping to shreds with Teutonic efficiency. And once the manifold layers of paper, cardboard, and plastic had been cleared away, there lay before her, bathed in glory, a single pair of sensible black socks. “A perfect fit!” crowed she, breaking into an impromptu jig, while I turned my attention to the accompanying letter in the hope of finding some clue as to her wildly disproportionate elation.
It began by congratulating loyal subscriber Frau Weber on her ownership of the new socks in the warmest terms. “And this is not the last pair of socks you’ll be receiving!” the letter went on magnanimously, deftly allaying my worst fears. Apparently, a new pair would be laboriously packaged and delivered every three months for the next year, the staff of the Die Weltwoche evidently considering that a one-time delivery of all the socks would simply be too much excitement for the average Swiss consumer to handle. And judging from my own limited sample, they may well have been right.
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